We're like a lot better than the average bears
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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