I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
