Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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