If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Randomize
