I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
