JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Randomize
