Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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