I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
