My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
The uberlube is also flammable
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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