BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
