I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
did you just send me my own nude
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
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