There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize
