Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Randomize
