why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize