I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
