Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Randomize
