If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
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