Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Randomize
