I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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