Yo dont text me then not text me
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Randomize
