I murdered the dance floor call the cops
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
It's blow job season.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
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