Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
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