i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize