we're blogging at a bar
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
