i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
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