Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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