what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
