Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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