would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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