o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Randomize
