Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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