I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
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