I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Randomize
