You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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