Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
