Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Randomize
