..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
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