I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize