he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
