Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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