I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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