every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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