He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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