There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
