PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
