Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Acid is not a monday night drug
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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