I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
