My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I have already put on my inside pants.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
