I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
