it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
