Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize