So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
