big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
