YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
