Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Randomize
