He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
