Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
