We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
