this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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