theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
