I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
and she was petting her beer can
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
