He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Randomize
