Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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