my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
As shirtless as possible
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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