That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
