Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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