How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
