so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
