your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
