You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
my liver is dry heaving
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Randomize
